I couldn’t sleep that night. The whole series of incidents kept coming back to me again and again. There were so many ‘whys’ whose answer I didn’t know…so many doubts, so many unexplained feelings…I didn’t exactly know what I was feeling anymore.
Why did I open up to him the way I did? Why did I not just bluntly break up with him(technically he never was my boyfriend to break up with…but…you know what I mean), he was just somebody my mother wanted me to marry. Why…how…what the hell! I hate feeling helpless.
Why on Earth was his hug so calming? Why did I hug him back? Why didn’t I just break up with him when I had the chance! Moreover, the kiss. Why did I? Why suddenly? Why me? I am not the kind of person who simply gets attracted to anybody and goes about kissing them!
Why didn’t he say something? Why did he simply hug me?
The questions were making me feel uneasy. I got up from my bed and started walking around the room, talking to myself.
After stomping around ,for about an hour at a stretch, I finally sat down. I still didn’t have any answers.
Just then, I heard a sound near the door. I turned to see that an envelope was pushed into my room from below the door.
What?! Who? And why push it under my door…why not knock? Seriously!
I went and picked it up. I tiptoed to the door and placed my ear on the door. I heard a voice.
“Shit! Why did I push it under like that! Shit! I could have just handed it to her tomorrow! What is wrong with me?!”
I couldn’t help but blush. Then I heard footsteps receding away. Oops! No!
I opened the door in reflex. He was shocked to see me awake at that time of the night.
“Umm…I thought you were asleep…umm…so didn’t…didn’t…knock”, he said, nervously.
“Umm…No. Couldn’t sleep.” I stared at him. So did he.
“I see…neither have you!” I smiled a little. “Do you want to…umm…come in?”
I saw him blinking twice, as if giving it some thought.
He went and sat on the foot of my bed. I closed the door behind him. He was looking down at the floor. I went and sat beside him. I tried to start a conversation but failed. I realized I was still holding the envelope in my hand.
“What’s in this?” I asked.
He turned towards me and replied, “Just a small gift. Open it.”
“Okay. I will. ”
I opened it and saw my photo with the backdrop of the hill and the Sunset.
“Wow! I didn’t know you are that good!” I looked up and said. “I mean…” and before I could complete my sentence, I felt his lips on mine. I could feel my heart racing.
We took turns to kiss each other. It was not the same as the last one. It was a long and lingering one…the kind you remember your entire life! The kind which makes you go weak in your knees long after it’s actually over!
He stopped in between and looked me straight in the eye and said, “I had been wanting to do this, since you kissed me. You know, like repay you.” I laughed. He laughed too. Then he got up and left.
Was it even real? Was I dreaming it? No, it can’t be a dream.
I still had the photograph in my hand…no wait…it was on the floor…must have fallen when…you know!
I laughed…I felt good…after…I don’t remember how long!
Surprisingly, my heart was at peace and all my questions were gone!
[To be continued…]