Day 9

I am so damn tired today. Office, grocery shopping, office again, took a bit of nap then exercise then cooking..

A whole day gone… Just like that!

Is it me or does these days just go so much faster!! I don’t think I like that. I need 4-5hrs more… (minimum!)

I am too damn tired. So goodnight. See I am trying hard to keep my resolution.

Oh yes, I had a bit of a silly argument with my sister. Doesn’t matter much. So…

Anyway, I am done for the day!!

Struggle

I am a survivor of life
When I say so, I mean… Life takes a toll. It forces you to toil. To hooe. To fall. To rise. To fall. To drown in tears. To swim. Sometimes even trying to just breathe.

Sometimes it feels just a bit easier to try and just die. I know it because I have felt the urge. However, the fear of failing…. It’s huge! So I continue. Don’t you? Well, maybe sometimes, I hope.

However, then… It’s all about ‘one-day’ at a time.

As I lay on my bed right now, contemplating life, love, purpose of me. I feel lost. Nothing to wake up to. So, I decided to seek shelter in here. To write my heart out. Words, my long lost love, who ones provided me the refuge when even my parents failed to understand me.

I have aged. I have. Turning 27 was not easy. Fighting with world. For me, my views, my stand as a woman, my right as a woman, my right as an individual, as a adult… it has been a lots of fighting. I have won some, lost most.. but mostly lived through the day.

Today on, I plan to write everyday. 365 days. Not for anyone or for achieving anything in particular. Just enough to help me breathe and keep going on. Hopefully will be able to do so! ❤️

[6]

We pulled in before a house. I thought we would check in into a hotel.
He stopped right outside the house and chivalrous, as we know him, he came out opened the door of the car for me.

“Where are we? What is this place? And…and whose house is this? Why did you bring me here?” I threw a series of questions at him.

“Okay! I know you have questions. I will definitely answer them one by one but please, first get in.”

“Ah! Well! I don’t know you…I mean we met a couple of times…And why should I get in with you?”

“Trust me.”

I shouldn’t. Right?

I followed him, anyway, a few steps behind him, in case I have to run.
He went to the door and knocked. The door opened and a lady in her mid-sixties stepped forward. She was overwhelmed to see us and hugged us…him first, and then me. She invited us in.

“Do you like cookies, my dear?” she asked me.

“Yes…Ma’am. Sure.” I said, hesitatingly.

I don’t know where he went. He still hasn’t answered my questions. But my curiosity was at work. I started looking for my own answers. I found photographs by the window. I went to see them. Soon one question was answered. The lady is his grandmother.

“Ya, she is my Granny.” I heard his voice from behind me.

“I got that.” I reply smiling. I had never met any of my own, and I always wondered what it feels to have them. But… “Why did you bring me here?”

“Well I guess I wanted to visit her and we were on our way with no fixed destination…so I thought why not pay them a visit?” he said smiling.

Was this the reason? Or was it something else? I didn’t ask, he didn’t say. Topic closed. For now.

“How long are you two staying here?”, we turned to find Granny behind us. Ya, I called her that. I looked at him to answer. It was my question too, although I hadn’t asked him.

“Will be leaving in half an hour.”

“What?! Do you think I will leave you this easily?”

“Gran, I have a job. She too does. And we never planned to come here in the first place.”

“No. You two are not going anywhere. You finally bring your girlfriend to visit your Granny and stay for what just mere 45 minutes? I thought you are better that that!”

“No…No…” I protested.

“Gran…firstly, she is just a friend. We were stressed with our jobs, needed some fresh air so we came here. But…we can’t stay.”

“No. Call your bosses and take a day off. You and your friend are staying. One day won’t hurt. The world will survive. Plus it’s just an hour drive. Leave early the next morning you will reach there on time.”

“I really can’t. We are working on an important project right now. The deadline is in three days. I would have stayed if I could.” I told her.

She heard me. She was silent for a few moment and then she said “Okay. Then just tonight. Go tomorrow morning. I will make arrangements for you.”

“But! But!” She put a finger to her lips. I looked at him, helplessly. To my surprise, he simply shrugged. Great!
[To be continued…]

[5]

We didn’t talk. He continued driving till we almost reached outside the city. Time and again, I felt him looking at me, but I couldn’t look at him. I just couldn’t. Instead I chose to look out of the window.

It was dead silent inside the car except for occasional car horns and the sound of the gentle hiss of the car engine.

We stopped once to refill the tank. He got down and bought some food. And then, we went on our journey.

Destination? None.

He nudged me once and handed me some food. I took them without a word. Neither did he say any.

We then went on. This time he put on some music.

It’s…. It is my one of my all time favorites. Did he know? Did my Mom put him up to this? Did she tell him?
Well I never told her in the first place… So… can it be? Chances are pretty thin. I looked at him to find him gently humming the tune as he took a bite of his burger.

He looked like a kid without a care. I think I might have even smiled…a little. For the first time, I think I noticed he had a dimple.

He noticed me looking at him. He raised his left eye brow questioningly. I shook my head meaning nothing. I joined in singing the song this time and looked out. He smiled this time. I think. I didn’t see. But I am guessing.

We went a long distance. I don’t know where we were going, but it seemed okay. I don’t know why…but…he after all, was a stranger I had gone out twice…well technically this is the second time. Where is he even taking me? The thought scared me…a little. But at the same time, it felt fine to just let him take me…far. I kind of liked it.

Soon I could see hills.

Wait!

Hills!

Wow!

Are we on a romantic getaway, as they call it?

That to unknowing to both of us…hopefully both of us…

I mean,

Dude, seriously?

[To be continued…]